things you can do to support someone battling cancer
Is, “Call me if you need anything,” the right thing to say?
When someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer, it can be hard to find the right words. You want to help, but feeling worried about saying or doing the wrong thing is normal.
A person with cancer is most likely already overwhelmed with many different feelings, not to mention a tremendous number of medical appointments.
The first thing you can do is actively listen. Let your friend or family member lead the conversation and share at their own pace. Avoid giving unsolicited advice or making comparisons to somebody else’s journey. Instead, listen with respect and consideration, acknowledging their fears without trying to solve it. A friend with a listening ear can provide immense comfort. Encourage them to talk, take cues from them and respect their boundaries if they need space.
Now, let’s focus on practical help. Cancer treatments can significantly disrupt a person’s routine and everyday life. Due to the side effects, keeping up with daily chores and responsibilities can become a real challenge. Therefore, offering practical help can be invaluable.
Instead of offering a vague, ‘Call me if you need anything,’ provide specific and concrete help. For example, try saying something like this: ‘I do my grocery shopping on Saturdays. I’ll pick up groceries for you and drop them off.’ You can also take on responsibilities like driving the kids to their sports practice or transporting them to and from their treatment. Other ideas include walking the dog, preparing frozen meals, organizing a meal schedule, or providing housekeeping. This specific help can make a significant difference in reducing your friend’s burden with daily tasks.
Offering support to the person’s primary caregiver is also a meaningful way to help, as a person with cancer is often worried about burdening a loved one. Talk them to tell you how you can be most helpful.
Remember, the most important thing in helping a friend or loved one with cancer is to show up with respect and kindness. This approach will make them feel truly cared for during their cancer journey.
For more ideas on how to help, check out:
American Cancer Society ACS How to be a friend
National Cancer Institute Support for Caregivers
Memorial Sloan Kettering Supporting a Friend
MD Anderson Ways to help
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